Internet definition of "Friend"
Jun. 9th, 2005 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apparentparadoxIt's interesting to me that the internet (or, more accurately, website communities) have created a new set of definitions for the word "friend". It's always been the case that "friend" is not symmetric (I may consider you my friend, but you may not consider me your friend). I just haven't noticed any animosity in real life that I've seen on the web. I've actually heard of people attacking others because those others didn't "friend" the person back.
Here on LJ, "friend" can have many meanings. Some people use the "friends list" as a way to make it easy to read the postings that they care about -- they just look at their friends page & read the entries. For them, "friends" == "people I read". For what it's worth, that's not what I do. There are some blogs that I read regularly who aren't on my "friends" list. (I have lots of bookmarks, and Firefox lets me easily open all those bookmarks as tabs, so I read things that way. Mark uses the RSS feed to read things, a similar, but different approach which also avoids the whole "friends" page).
I don't happen to have anything "friends-only" in my journal, but some people do use the friends list to limit who can have access to postings. In fact, the only reason I got an account here is to read such things from someone I know outside of LJ.
The "Friends" list also serves as a way to find interesting people that you might like to read (well, I like reading so-and-so's journal, and they like this other person, so I'll check that one out, too), and as a way to build your community (Ah, you like X, Y, and Z, and this other person I read also likes those people, maybe they're part of my "community" as well).
Other sites, however, are aimed more at "meeting people" (he says, euphemistically). There, "friend" or "I like" or "buddy" or whatever, is subject to a wider variety of interpretations. I think that many interpret it to be "I want to have sex with", although it is sometimes meant in it's more generic "someone I enjoy spending time with". It was on a such a site that I was castigated by someone who had "friended" me, and whose profile I had viewed multiple times. He was indignant that I might want to view his profile but wouldn't mark him as a "friend".
Which leads to another purpose of the "friends" lists: popularity contests. Some people seem to make others their friend only so that they will be "friended" in return, and thus boost their perceived popularity on the site.
So, if you're looking at any "friends" list (on this, or any site), don't assume you are using the same definition of "friend" as the person who manages that profile!
If anyone is curious as to why they are or are not on my friend's list (on any site), feel free to ask. I probably won't answer, but I don't like to stifle curiousity.
Here on LJ, "friend" can have many meanings. Some people use the "friends list" as a way to make it easy to read the postings that they care about -- they just look at their friends page & read the entries. For them, "friends" == "people I read". For what it's worth, that's not what I do. There are some blogs that I read regularly who aren't on my "friends" list. (I have lots of bookmarks, and Firefox lets me easily open all those bookmarks as tabs, so I read things that way. Mark uses the RSS feed to read things, a similar, but different approach which also avoids the whole "friends" page).
I don't happen to have anything "friends-only" in my journal, but some people do use the friends list to limit who can have access to postings. In fact, the only reason I got an account here is to read such things from someone I know outside of LJ.
The "Friends" list also serves as a way to find interesting people that you might like to read (well, I like reading so-and-so's journal, and they like this other person, so I'll check that one out, too), and as a way to build your community (Ah, you like X, Y, and Z, and this other person I read also likes those people, maybe they're part of my "community" as well).
Other sites, however, are aimed more at "meeting people" (he says, euphemistically). There, "friend" or "I like" or "buddy" or whatever, is subject to a wider variety of interpretations. I think that many interpret it to be "I want to have sex with", although it is sometimes meant in it's more generic "someone I enjoy spending time with". It was on a such a site that I was castigated by someone who had "friended" me, and whose profile I had viewed multiple times. He was indignant that I might want to view his profile but wouldn't mark him as a "friend".
Which leads to another purpose of the "friends" lists: popularity contests. Some people seem to make others their friend only so that they will be "friended" in return, and thus boost their perceived popularity on the site.
So, if you're looking at any "friends" list (on this, or any site), don't assume you are using the same definition of "friend" as the person who manages that profile!
If anyone is curious as to why they are or are not on my friend's list (on any site), feel free to ask. I probably won't answer, but I don't like to stifle curiousity.