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Commitment
Feb. 22nd, 2006 07:08 pmWhile on a recent trip to DC, I read Dan Savage's book "The Commitment". It's a highly entertaining book, and it made me start thinking about marriage again.
Mark & I have talked about getting married at various times in our relationship. We even had an appointment to get married a few years ago when SF was doing marriages (we were too lazy to go up to stand in line). That lead to a fall-out with my father, which I've talked about previously.
In the past, Mark has been against getting married if it won't be recognized as legal where we're living. So, while we could get married in Canada, it would only be a piece of paper in the US, and would require some pretty substantial effort if we decide to get divorced. Massachusetts is also a possibility, but currently that means one of us becoming a resident in order to get married. So, like Terry & Dan in the book, there are reasons not to get married right now.
However, also like Terry & Dan in the book, we've been thinking about having an anniversary party this year. We've talked for years about having a big party this year, as we're both turning 50 & we've been together for 20 years. So, as I was reading "The Commitment", I kept thinking about how lots of what Dan Savage was talking about applied to us. [OK, I can't imagine Mark getting a tattoo and we don't have a kid, so there are differences]
Part of me would really like to do the wedding reception thing, having lots of friends around to celebrate our relationship. But, for some reason, I only feel good about that if there actually was a marriage. Kind of strange, no? The piece of paper & government recognition won't affect how I feel about Mark or vice versa. But some part of me wants to stand up in front of a crowd with Mark, cut a cake & shove a piece of it in his mouth.
Mark & I have talked about getting married at various times in our relationship. We even had an appointment to get married a few years ago when SF was doing marriages (we were too lazy to go up to stand in line). That lead to a fall-out with my father, which I've talked about previously.
In the past, Mark has been against getting married if it won't be recognized as legal where we're living. So, while we could get married in Canada, it would only be a piece of paper in the US, and would require some pretty substantial effort if we decide to get divorced. Massachusetts is also a possibility, but currently that means one of us becoming a resident in order to get married. So, like Terry & Dan in the book, there are reasons not to get married right now.
However, also like Terry & Dan in the book, we've been thinking about having an anniversary party this year. We've talked for years about having a big party this year, as we're both turning 50 & we've been together for 20 years. So, as I was reading "The Commitment", I kept thinking about how lots of what Dan Savage was talking about applied to us. [OK, I can't imagine Mark getting a tattoo and we don't have a kid, so there are differences]
Part of me would really like to do the wedding reception thing, having lots of friends around to celebrate our relationship. But, for some reason, I only feel good about that if there actually was a marriage. Kind of strange, no? The piece of paper & government recognition won't affect how I feel about Mark or vice versa. But some part of me wants to stand up in front of a crowd with Mark, cut a cake & shove a piece of it in his mouth.