Morbid Thoughts

[apparentparadox]

We found out today that a friend of ours died recently.

I feel like I've been hit in the stomach. I know that in many ways, Mark & I are extremely lucky, in that we haven't had to experience the death of very many friends. We haven't had the "practice" that dealing with death might give us (although I wonder if it ever gets easier to hear of a friend's passing).

Part of me feels so emotionally dead right now. Part of me also wonders how those people who have lost a spouse can possibly manage -- the pain and disorientation I'm feeling are bad enough, and this was a friend, not a lover.

And then I think of all the people who have lost loved-ones recently in Iraq or Lebanon or Israel. I know that I should be grateful for all that I've got, but it's hard to have that perspective right now.