Paradox or hypocrisy?
Apr. 14th, 2005 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apparentparadoxI've run across several profiles (of presumably gay men) on various websites lately with things that bother me.
I've seen some that attack people for stating preferences in their profile ("If you won't date black men, then you're racist and should deal with that") and some that make me believe that the writer has been attacked for stating a preference("I'm vanilla when it comes to sex - don't tell me that I need to explore more").
I really don't get it. Most gay men have decided/realized that they prefer sex with men over sex with women [for the sake of this argument, it doesn't matter whether it was a "choice" or "genetic" or whatever]. And, I think that many would be upset if some straight person said to them "you're just being closed-minded, you should try sex with a woman". But, apparently some gay men feel that it's OK to tell other gay men what they should find physically attractive or sexually exciting.
Is there really something qualitatively different between "being attracted to men vs. women" and "being attracted to some race/style of sex"? Or, are these guys who are attacking other's preferences being hypocrites, or just not thinking?
Sometimes an apparent paradox just denotes that we don't have all the information. Sometimes, though, it just shows up hypocrisy.
I've seen some that attack people for stating preferences in their profile ("If you won't date black men, then you're racist and should deal with that") and some that make me believe that the writer has been attacked for stating a preference("I'm vanilla when it comes to sex - don't tell me that I need to explore more").
I really don't get it. Most gay men have decided/realized that they prefer sex with men over sex with women [for the sake of this argument, it doesn't matter whether it was a "choice" or "genetic" or whatever]. And, I think that many would be upset if some straight person said to them "you're just being closed-minded, you should try sex with a woman". But, apparently some gay men feel that it's OK to tell other gay men what they should find physically attractive or sexually exciting.
Is there really something qualitatively different between "being attracted to men vs. women" and "being attracted to some race/style of sex"? Or, are these guys who are attacking other's preferences being hypocrites, or just not thinking?
Sometimes an apparent paradox just denotes that we don't have all the information. Sometimes, though, it just shows up hypocrisy.