Commitment, part II
Feb. 27th, 2006 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apparentparadoxPart of what I find interesting about thinking about the whole marriage thing is examining my own ideas. I know that if Mark & I were really holding a wedding or even just a reception after having a very small wedding, then I wouldn't think twice about inviting all my siblings & parts of my extended biological family, and I'd actually expect them to come. (When I told one of my sisters about our appointment to get married, her response was "tell me when & we'll be out there").
But, for some reason (internalized homophobia? wedding envy?), I just don't feel the same about doing a party without having done the whole legal thing. I just don't feel as comfortable asking my family and friends to pay a bunch of money to come to CA for a party. (And, for parts of my family and some of my friends, it would be a financial burden -- just plane tickets for a family of 5 is expensive, and then there is the hotel costs).
Maybe it's all just a hold-over from childhood experiences. My parents or aunts & uncles never made a big deal about wedding anniversaries other than the 25th & 50th. (And, even the 25th anniversaries weren't that big of a thing -- more likely that the couple would take some special trip). Weddings, on the other hand, were always a big deal. And given the size of my extended family, there were lots of weddings!
But, for some reason (internalized homophobia? wedding envy?), I just don't feel the same about doing a party without having done the whole legal thing. I just don't feel as comfortable asking my family and friends to pay a bunch of money to come to CA for a party. (And, for parts of my family and some of my friends, it would be a financial burden -- just plane tickets for a family of 5 is expensive, and then there is the hotel costs).
Maybe it's all just a hold-over from childhood experiences. My parents or aunts & uncles never made a big deal about wedding anniversaries other than the 25th & 50th. (And, even the 25th anniversaries weren't that big of a thing -- more likely that the couple would take some special trip). Weddings, on the other hand, were always a big deal. And given the size of my extended family, there were lots of weddings!